15 Vital Books for the Wellness Coach – 2020 – Straight Off My Shelf

In the last ten years the field of health and wellness coaching has continued to evolve as a professional filed with standards, credentials (https://nbhwc.org) and a solid evidential base (https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1559827619850489). We’ve attained more clarity about what effective health and wellness coaching looks like and more awareness of what all coaches need to learn. Coaches have an ethical obligation to constantly be learning and growing in our profession.

So, what are the “must reads” for the wellness or health coach? Ten years ago, I posted a three-part blog on this topic.

15 Vital Books For The Wellness Coach: Straight Off My Shelf – Part One
https://wp.me/pUi2y-1n. 15 Vital Books For The Wellness Coach: Straight Off My Shelf – Part Two https://wp.me/pUi2y-1z. 15 Vital Books For The Wellness Coach: Straight Off My Shelf – Part Three https://wp.me/pUi2y-1H.

Now, in 2020, what I want to share with you are the top fifteen books that will influence the way you do coaching, the way you prepare for professional exams, and books that you will want to have at arm’s reach. These are the books on my own bookshelf that I find myself recommending over and over again to the thousands of wellness coaches that Real Balance has trained. There are many great resources out there, but here is my own very biased (as you’ll see when I recommend my own books) and opinionated list. In contrast to my own previous blogs this time I’m listing them in rank-order of importance to the coach practicing in the field.

15 Vital Books for the Wellness Coach – 2020 – Straight Off My Shelf

1. Wellness Coaching For Lasting Lifestyle Change,2nd Ed. , Arloski
2. Masterful Health & Wellness Coaching: Deepening Your Craft, Arloski (In Press)
3. Co-Active Coaching, 4th Ed., Whitworth, Kimsey-House & Sandahl
4. Changing to Thrive, Janice & James Prochaska
5. Becoming a Professional Life Coach, Williams & Menendez
6. Motivational Interviewing 3rd Edition, Miller & Rollnick
7. The Coaching Psychology Manual, Moore, Tschannen-Moran and Jackson
8. The Blue Zones, Dan Buettner
9. Your Journey To A Healthier Life: Paths of Wellness Guided Journal, Vol. 1, Arloski
10. Taming Your Gremlin, Rick Carson
11. The Wellness Workbook, Jack Travis & Regina Ryan
12. The Open Heart Companion, Maggie Lichtenberg
13. The Craving Mind, Judson Brewer
14. Raw Coping Power, Joel Bennet
15. The Way We’re Working Isn’t Working, Tony Schwartz

1. Wellness Coaching For Lasting Lifestyle Change,2nd Ed. (2014), Michael Arloski. (https://wholeperson.com/store/wellness-coaching-for-lasting-lifestyle-change.shtml) Like I said, a very biased list. Yet, I will have to say that this book (which is now also available in Mandarin) is used by many colleges and universities, as well as other commercial wellness coach training organizations all around the world. The 2014 2nd edition has expanded its coverage of coaching skills and the process of co-creating a wellness plan. The Wellness Mapping 360 Methodology provides the coach with a complete approach to behavioral change that distinguishes this book from others. The integration of what we know from the field of wellness and health promotion is another unique feature of this resource.

2. Masterful Health & Wellness Coaching: Deepening Your Craft, (2020)(In Press) Michael Arloski. (https://wholeperson.com/store/masterful-health-and-wellness-coaching.html) Coaching is both an art and an applied science. In this book my intention is to provide guidance for the health & wellness coaches who wants to go beyond competence to proficiency and embark on a journey towards mastery. The book is divided into four sections, Transformation, How To Be, What To Do, and Coaching People with Health Challenges. We will explore what distinguishes masterful coaches form those who are just learning their craft. Thoroughly substantiated by the evidential literature and providing in-depth lessons on all the major behavioral change theories, Masterful Health & Wellness Coaching will allow the reader to take their coaching to an advanced level.


3. Co-Active Coaching, 4th Ed., (2018) Laura Whitworth, Karen Kimsey-House, Henry Kinsey-House & Phil Sandahl. (https://www.amazon.com/Co-Active-Coaching-Fourth-transformative-conversations/dp/1473674980/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2E78YGNE10TNG&dchild=1&keywords=co-active+coaching+4th+edition&qid=1601155442&sprefix=Co-%2Caps%2C206&sr=8-1)
THE foundational book of the life coaching field. The authors became the founders of The Coaches Training Institute (CTI) and in this work set down the cornerstones that shape the coaching mindset. A great book to bone up on your coaching skills and to learn what the essence of coaching really is. A true must-read.

4. Changing to Thrive: Using the Stages of Change to Overcome the Top Threats to Your Health and Happiness (2016), Janice & James Prochaska. (https://www.amazon.com/Changing-Thrive-Overcome-Threats-Happiness/dp/1616496290/ref=sr_1_1?crid=24WCWLPXR1KL2&dchild=1&keywords=changing+to+thrive&qid=1601155877&sprefix=Changing+to+thrive%2Caps%2C202&sr=8-1) Replacing the original Changing For Good (1994), this book definitely is in the top four for your bookshelf. The tremendous utility of the Transtheoretical Model for Behavioral Change (TTM, Stage of Change) makes it the coach’s most important behavior change model to know well.

5. Becoming a Professional Life Coach: Lessons from the Institute of Life Coach Training, (2015) Patrick Williams & Diane Menendez. (https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Professional-Life-Coach-Institute/dp/0393708365/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=5.+Becoming+a+Professional+Life+Coach%2C+Williams+%26+Menendez&qid=1601156765&sr=8-1) Pat Williams is one of the true pioneers of Life Coaching and his earlier book (along with Deb Davis) Therapist as Life Coach was one of my favorites as I made the shift from psychotherapist to coach. Becoming A Professional Life Coach largely supplants this earlier book and provides the wellness coach with not only great skill building but lots of very practical guidance for practicing their coaching.

6. Motivational Interviewing 3rd Ed., (2012) William Miller & Stephen Rollnick. (https://www.amazon.com/Motivational-Interviewing-Helping-People-Applications/dp/1609182278/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=6.+Motivational+Interviewing+3rd+Edition%2C+Miller+%26+Rollnick&qid=1601157105&sr=8-1) This third edition is definitely the best resource on this vital approach to helping people change behavior. Motivational interviewing (MI) is a key tool for the health & wellness coach, especially when working with the ambivalent client. In addition to presenting the MI approach to many of the same skills used in coaching (with their own unique MI terminology), the book contains real gems of learning about the functions many of these skills serve and how to apply them in your coaching.

7. The Coaching Psychology Manual, 2nd Ed., (2015) Margaret Moore, Bob Tschannen-Moran and Erika Jackson. (https://www.amazon.com/Coaching-Psychology-Manual-Margaret-Moore/dp/1451195265/ref=sr_1_12?dchild=1&keywords=The+Coaching+Psychology+Manual%2C+Moore%2C+Tschannen-Moran+and+Jackson&qid=1601157580&sr=8-12) Another foundational book of the wellness coaching field. A comprehensive guide to many of the behavior change theories that coaches use and how to apply them.

8. The Blue Zones: 9 Lessons for Living Longer From the People Who’ve Lived the Longest, 2nd Ed. (2012) Dan Buettner. (https://www.amazon.com/Blue-Zones-Second-Lessons-Longest/dp/1426209487/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1OT3CA9BCUW6O&dchild=1&keywords=the+blue+zones&qid=1601323354&sprefix=The+blue+zones%2Caps%2C202&sr=8-2)  Longevity, we’ve found out is only 20% genetics (at the most) and is really 80% lifestyle (culture, behavior, beliefs, environment). Looking at studies of the hot spots or “Blue Zones” around the world where people live to a ripe old age quite often, common denominators teach us what it takes for an environment to make it easier to be well. The lessons for wellness are profound and based in solid evidence. We have made this part of the Real Balance curriculum since it was first published in 2008.

9. Your Journey To A Healthier Life: Paths of Wellness Guided Journal, Vol. 1, 2nd Ed., (2017) Michael Arloski. (https://wholeperson.com/store/your-journey-to-a-healthier-life.shtml)
A wellness journal for the client, this book outlines an entire wellness coaching process from self-assessment, to visioning, wellness planning, meeting challenges to change, tracking behavior and setting up accountability and support through connectedness for success. Many of the coaches I’ve trained use this with each of their clients either individually, or as a group guide (works very well in a 12-session format). Many coaches love it simply as their own guide for how they coach their clients.

10. Taming Your Gremlin: A Surprisingly Simple Method for Getting Out of Your Own Way (updated edition) (2003), Rick Carson. (https://www.amazon.com/Taming-Your-Gremlin-Surprisingly-Getting/dp/0060520221/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=Taming+Your+Gremlin%2C+Rick+Carson&qid=1601159057&sr=8-1) Whenever the wellness coaching client takes on change their own personal “Gremlin” or “inner-critic” will be there to oppose it, even if it’s the best thing in the world for that person. Our clients have plenty of external challenges to their attempts at change, but the internal ones can be the most devastating. This classic little book shows us how to spot the self-talk of the gremlin early and get it out of the way (as we get out of our own way!). Another true must read. I know of coaches who supply their clients with copies of this book when folks sign on to coaching.

11. The Wellness Workbook, 3rd ed: How to Achieve Enduring Health and Vitality, (2004) John W. Travis and Regina Sara Ryan . (https://www.amazon.com/Wellness-Workbook-3rd-Enduring-Vitality/dp/1587612135) Health & Wellness coaches need a thorough understanding of wellness and health promotion. This is the foundational book to understand what wellness is truly about. Jack Travis is one of the modern-day founders of the wellness movement and he lays out his theoretical foundation and theories in the introductory thirty-six pages which is worth the price of the book alone.

12. The Open Heart Companion: : Preparation and Guidance for Open-Heart Surgery Recovery, (2006) Maggie Lichtenberg. (https://www.amazon.com/Open-Heart-Companion-Preparation-Open-Heart/dp/0977606309) The psychological side of a major health challenge is often ignored. Maggie Lichtenberg, a PCC level coach, went through mitral valve repair surgery, saw a big missing piece and filled it admirably with this excellent book. As a wellness coach, whether you deal with heart patients or not, this book is an ultimate guide to helping your client with self-efficacy and self-advocacy. I make sure anyone I know (client or not) who is headed into any kind of major surgery (but especially heart surgery) either has a copy of this book or knows about it.

13. The Craving Mind: From Cigarettes to Smart-Phones to Love – Why We Get Hooked & How We Can Break Bad Habits,(2017) Judson Brewer. (https://www.amazon.com/Craving-Mind-Cigarettes-Smartphones-Hooked/dp/0300234368/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=The+Craving+Mind%3A+From+Cigarettes+to+Smart-Phones+to+Love+–+Why+We+Get+Hooked+%26+How+We+Can+Break+Bad+Habits%2C+Judson+Brewer&qid=1601319691&sr=8-1) The subtitle says it all. Health and wellness coaches today are quite likely to discover that their clients may be struggling with “device addiction” as well as other habits that work against their health. Understanding how our mind craves these behaviors and how they feed a cycle of addiction is critical to helping anyone take back control of their lives. What makes Judson Brewer’s approach different is that it is based in the practice of Mindfulness and offers an effective way back to wellness.

14. Raw Coping Power: From Stress to Thriving, (2014) Joel Bennett. (https://www.amazon.com/Raw-Coping-Power-Stress-Thriving/dp/0991510208/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=Raw+Coping+Power%2C+Joel+Bennett&qid=1601319602&sr=8-1) Coaching around stress is an inevitable part of health & wellness coaching, so having the knowledge you need to do so is critical. From knowledge to research about stress to the tools and methods you need to apply it, Raw Coping Power’s strengths-based, resilience building approach is the best resource out there.

15. The Way We’re Working Isn’t Working, (2010) Tony Schwartz.  (https://www.amazon.com/Way-Were-Working-Isnt-Performance/dp/1451610262/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=The+Way+We’re+Working+Isn’t+Working%2C+Tony+Schwartz&qid=1601320068&sr=8-1) Our coaching clients are often over-worked and under-supported with ever-increasing demands heaped upon them. Schwartz’s book looks at the systemic problems of the modern-day workplace, but then takes on an approach that individuals can use to cope and hopefully thrive. Think of stress management and time management as energy management. We are wired to deal with stress, but do we have “sufficient volume and intensity” of recovery? A great resource for helping our clients learn how to recover from the stress in their lives.

So, there you have it! Happy reading and keep on learning!

Dr. Michael

Michael Arloski, Ph.D., PCC, NBC-HWC is CEO and Founder of Real Balance Global Wellness (https://realbalance.com) a premier health & wellness coach training organization that has trained thousands of coaches around the world.

 

Wellness in a Time of Crisis: Serving Others/Caring for Ourselves

 

Maintaining strong immune systems and helping people to manage their current illnesses is part of the vital work that health & wellness coaches are doing every day. COVID-19 is causing much higher mortality rates among people with chronic health challenges – the very population that health & wellness coaches and wellness professionals serve. The world needs the work you do now more than ever.

There are two issues at play during this pandemic crisis: how can we best serve our clients/members, etc.; and how can we remain healthy and well enough to be of service and maintain our own wellness?

Serving Your Clients/Members/Patients

As wellness professionals face the new realities and restrictions of the pandemic and our responses to it unique challenges confront us.

• Remaining in contact with your clients/members/patients while both you and they are working remotely.
• Adjusting to remote contact when you’ve always worked in-person with those you serve.
• Helping people who work on the frontlines of the medical world’s response to the pandemic.
• Dealing with clients, members, or patients who are reporting more stress, depression and anxiety.
• Helping people who feel frightened and helpless in the face of this crisis.
• Helping people get the services they need, including your own, when those services are overwhelmed.

At the end of this piece I’ve listed some great resources to help with some of these challenges.

What Do You Need Now?

Many of us who are in the human-helping business tend to step up and be there for others with little hesitation.  The other side of this is our own tendency to not attend enough to our own needs during this time. What kinds of demands are you facing in your workplace?  Some wellness and coaching services are under greater demand and stress. Independent coaches, fitness trainers, etc., may be facing a reduced number of clients. What are you up against?

What are you doing for your own wellness and self-care now?
As each of us reach out to our clients and others to be an ally we also need to nourish ourselves.  In time of crisis, when it seems that we don’t have time for our own care, it is actually time for extreme self-care.  Stress has a terrible toll on the immune system and that is exactly what we all need to work on maintaining right now.

We are also not invulnerable to the same fears, anxieties and stresses that our clients and members are facing.  Perhaps you are working at home trying to juggle your work obligations with having a house full of family members trapped by social distancing guidelines.

Secondary Trauma

Be compassionate with yourself.  As you work with others during this crisis the emotional toll it takes upon you may be not just exhausting, it may be traumatic.  Secondary traumatization takes place when we are exposed to the trauma that others are going through.  It can have many of the same symptoms and effects upon us as direct exposure to trauma.  Here is an excellent resource for learning more about this. Emergency Responders: Tips for taking care of yourself.  (https://emergency.cdc.gov/coping/responders.asp)

Seeking Connection

People that go through any kind of wellness training always develop a wonderful appreciation for their fellow classmates.  We see this when we all attend professional conferences and feel the support of like-minded colleagues.  Attempts to keep in touch are usually hard to maintain as everyone returns to their busy lives.  Now, with the cancelation of live conferences and such, we are left without that usual opportunity for rejuvenation and support.  You may be feeling alone, but you are not.

We know that the way through crisis, the way to build resilience is through CONNECTION, through reaching out and support.  As you saw in my previous blog post, (Social Distancing – Not Social Isolation: Coaching for Connectedness in the age of COVID-19 https://wp.me/pUi2y-p5 ) social distancing is not the same as social isolation.  Reach out to friends, but also reach out to your wellness colleagues.  They are going through many of the same experiences as you and can be primary sources of support.

Let me invite you to connect in many ways. One way is to GET A SUPPORTIVE CONVERSATION GOING by engaging in conversation about your concerns, fears, hopes and stresses that you are experiencing right now with COVID-19 happening worldwide. 

Connect on Facebook with the REAL BALANCE STUDENTS, ALUMNI & FRIENDS GROUP – https://www.facebook.com/groups/1581133502099770/  This group is open to all wellness-related professionals.

Connect on Linkedin with the Real Balance Wellness Coach Training Institute Group:https://www.linkedin.com/groups/3808651/   This group is also open to all wellness-related professionals.

Let’s make these forums one place where we can do that. Please contribute to these conversations. Building COMMUNITY takes participation.

Another opportunity will be April 24th. Our April Free Monthly Webinar will be: Wellness Coaching in the Time of Covid 19: Self-care and Helping Others with very special guests James and Janice Prochaska and Pat Williams. 

 

RESOURCES for helping others and helping ourselves during this crisis:

• Managing anxiety during the COVID-19 outbreak. https://socialwork.wayne.edu/coronavirus/anxiety

• Tips for Coaches and Therapists during times of crisis with Dr. Patrick Williams (https://youtu.be/VoiufoD_HNA)
• HOW COVID-19 IS IMPACTING THE WORKPLACE: Resources for employees and employers during this time. (https://www.welcoa.org/covid/)
• Living With Mental Illness During COVID-19 Outbreak– Preparing For Your Wellness (https://mhanational.org/living-mental-illness-during-covid-19-outbreak-preparing-your-wellness)
• Food safety, nutrition, and wellness during COVID-19. (https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/2020/03/25/food-safety-nutrition-and-wellness-during-covid-19/)
• Mental Health and Coping During COVID-19 | CDC. (https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/daily-life-coping/managing-stress-anxiety.html)

Also, please feel free to contact us by email (deborah@realbalance.com) or phone (1-866-568-4702) to let us know how we may be of support at this time.

Be well and stay well!

Coach Michael

 

Where The Listening Starts

Where Listening Starts

An essential part of any wellness coach training is focusing on developing competency in what the ICF (International Coaching Federation) calls Active Listening – Paraphrase and Restatement; Reflection of Feeling; Request for Clarification; the use of Silence and Intuition; Summarization. Yet the active listening skills that we talk about aren’t really skills about how to listen more effectively. They are critical skills for how we give evidence to our client that we are listening and truly hearing them. They are skills that further the coaching conversation. They are how we respond to our client when we take in their communication. This is the active part of listening: what the coach says and does. But, what allows us to truly listen at a deeper level, to pick up on even more of what is really being communicated?


Deep Listening – “I can hear tears.”

What is it that allows masterful coaches to become aware of things that most people miss in a conversation? How do they tune in to their client in such a way that the coaching conversation becomes rich, productive and even enlightening?

In a class discussion about listening, one of my Real Balance students, who demonstrated she was an already accomplished coach, shared with us the poignant statement “I can hear tears.” She was referring to coaching over the phone where the visual nonverbal cues are absent. She was picking up on both the client’s subtle vocal cues, and to a large degree, the context of the conversation. At such a tender moment, a client may make an effort to be as silent as possible. The vocal cues like a voice that breaks in tone, or speech that stammers are not even there for the coach to perceive during such a silence. The context can certainly tip the coach off that it would be natural for a client to cry upon sharing a painful experience or talking about a profound loss. Yet people react to experience and emotion in many different ways, from hysteria to stoicism. How does a more masterful coach hear tears that silently run down the cheek?

The powers of observation of a more masterful coach are as keen and sharp as a razor. They don’t miss much. They notice. They are mindfulness in action. They also don’t allow judgment to interfere and throw their subsequent observations into a prejudiced direction blinding them to the full picture of what is unfolding. They stay on pace with their client instead of ahead of them. They stay more out of their head. These practices allow them to stay in the present and in touch with all of their senses. Doing so they are not rushing ahead with their own imagined conclusions about where the dialogue is going. By maintaining a coaching mindset, they are able to facilitate the client’s work instead of attempting to do the work for their client like a consultant would do. By not engaging in that headwork (analyzing, deducing, imagining, problem solving, continually thinking of the next question to ask, etc.) they are able to be here now with their client and hear more. This way of being, combined with providing The Facilitative Conditions of Coaching is the very essence of Coaching Presence.

Observing by Scanning

One aspect of effective observation is what I call scanning. If you ever take a nature walk with a trained naturalist, or perhaps the type of experienced hunter who is keenly in touch with the natural world, you realize that they are constantly scanning the landscape as you move through it. I remember reading Barry Lopez’s magnificent book Artic Dreams. https://www.powells.com/book/arctic-dreams-imagination-desire-in-a-northern-landscape-9780375727481?p_isbn&partnerid=35409 He spoke of his time with the Inuit people who were out on a hunting expedition. They walked over the tundra all day, slowly, silently. Then, at night around a campfire they spoke about all of the things they had seen. Lopez, one of America’s greatest nature writers who has developed intense powers of observation himself, was amazed at what these indigenous people had picked up on, down to minute detail of the land and its creatures. They had been constantly scanning both the horizon, the place where they were about to set their feet and everything in between. They had been scanning visually, looking for movement, shifts, changes, anything out of order in shape or color. They had been scanning auditorily hearing birdsong, wind, twigs snapping. They had been scanning olfactorily smelling the scent of whatever flowers, animals, carrion, or people might be in the region. And, they had been doing all of this effortlessly. It was simply how they hunted.

As you coach, are you constantly scanning the horizon and where you are about to set your feet? Are you effortlessly scanning with all of your senses and noticing? Just like our friends in Lopez’s book, we want to be noticing shifts, changes, anything out of the ordinary. While the Inuit hunter might spot the movement of a partridge in a bush, we may notice the shift in our client’s tone of voice, in their posture, in the speed with which they are now talking. When we listen beyond words, beyond content we hear more. The verbal content is important. It’s like the landscape itself; it is the context of the conversation. Yet, what’s important is what is happening on that landscape. What movement is there in the bushes, so to speak? What is the client thinking and feeling regarding that content about which they are speaking?

The novice coach, new to the coaching landscape, may focus mostly on the content of our client’s communication. Yet, they progress in their coaching so much more when they realize that the client is not just speaking to them about a subject, they are communicating! It’s not just what they say, it’s how they are saying it. The content might sound like “I’ve walked only two times this week.” All the while the client is attempting to convey to their coach that they are becoming very worried that they will never get their lung capacity back after their acute heart failure if they don’t exercise more often. Did the coach see the frightened bird that just froze on the tree branch, or were they lost looking at the trees? What is my client communicating?

What Are We Listening For?

Just like the skilled naturalist, or the Inuit people that Lopez observed, the more masterful coach has learned what to look for in our coaching landscape. The novice coach may travel the same landscape and not notice half of what the more masterful coach will pick up on. They have learned how to read the signs, to distinguish a track from a mere depression in the soil. So, to deepen your listening ability what can you tune in to? Within the content of what is being said and beyond the content, what will help our coaching be more productive?


This blog was taken from a chapter in Dr. Arloski’s forthcoming book Masterful Health & Wellness Coaching: Deepening Your Craft, being published soon by Whole Person Associates. https://wholeperson.com/store/masterful-health-and-wellness-coaching.html

2010-2020 A Decade of Growth for Wellness Coaching

After years of building a foundation, health and wellness coaching has flourished in the last decade. At the beginning of this last decade the International Coach Federation was only fifteen years old and the National Board for Health and Wellness Coaching hadn’t even been thought of yet. My book, Wellness Coaching for Lasting Lifestyle Change, had been on the market for only three years, and The Coaching Psychology Manual, for only one. Thousands of people were already trained and working as health and wellness coaches, but the numbers were nowhere near where they are today. Wellness coaching was being used by employee wellness programs, disease management and insurance companies but had not made its way into the clinical world much at all. There was considerable success where wellness coaching was being applied, but the research to back it up was lagging. As the decade moved along towards 2020, everything shifted. Health and wellness coaching has truly arrived!

In the last ten years we have seen the profession of health and wellness coaching grow both in its application and as a true profession with standards and credentialing. Early in 2010 the National Consortium for Credentialing Health & Wellness Coaches was formed to develop and establish those standards and a system of credentialing. After an untold number of hours of work by dedicated coaching professionals this evolved into the National Board for Health & Wellness Coaching that we have today. Now, in addition to certification that coaches can receive by the organization that trained them, they can apply to become certified through the NBHWC by qualifying for and passing an examination administered by the National Board of Medical Examiners. Prospective coaches can now choose to be trained by qualified organizations that have earned approval by the National Board, ensuring great quality for their educational experience.

Importantly the critical research evidence backing up the incredible effectiveness of health and wellness coaching has mushroomed. We now have hundreds and hundreds of solid peer-reviewed journal articles making the case for health and wellness coaching.

My observations over the past decade is that the growth of health and wellness coaching has particularly accelerated in three areas: universities, the international arena and clinical/lifestyle medicine. Let’s look at the role Real Balance Global Wellness has played in each.

Loma Linda University

Early in the decade only a handful of schools were offering programs that included health and wellness coaching. These were mostly schools of Integrative Health or related areas. Leaders such as The California Institute of Integral Studies, Duke University, and the University of Minnesota were such innovators. As more and more schools discovered that health and wellness coaching offered their students a practical skill set and a needed certification in the field, actual training in health and wellness coaching became highly desirable. Real Balance began to partner with schools of Public Health, Nursing, and a variety of programs to not only deliver direct training, but to train college and university faculty to become Real Balance Trainers and be able to deliver our curriculum and certification. Our program nurtures such schools along until they are ready to apply to the National Board to become an approved program in their own right.

China!

As lifestyle diseases have replaced infectious disease as the number one cause of premature death, the value of health and wellness coaching is being increasingly recognized around the world. Interest is growing fast in Europe, Asia and Latin America. Real Balance truly became Real Balance GLOBAL Wellness in this last decade. We developed training programs in Ireland/UK, Brazil, Australia, and China. We delivered keynotes and programs in the Azores Islands of Portugal, and the Philippines. Students from around the globe continue to become trained as health and wellness coaches through our live webinar classes.

The third area of growth for health and wellness coaching that has ballooned especially in the last few years of our past decade is primary care/lifestyle medicine. The recognition that a large component of our health is behavioral has led to the greater openness to the role of health and wellness coaching in direct medical services. Health and wellness coaches are helping patients to be more successful at medical compliance/adherence, and at accomplishing the directives of the lifestyle prescription recommended by their treatment team. The tremendous growth and increasing acceptance of the principles of lifestyle medicine has helped health and wellness coaches to be seen as a very practical solution for the behavioral changes sought by physicians and other healthcare practitioners. The recent granting of a Level Three CPT Code for health and wellness coaching is a huge step forward. Though direct reimbursement is a ways off, the new code helps legitimize health and wellness coaching in the eyes of the medical world and opens doors.

Health and wellness coaching enters this new decade with an earned respect. We have the evidence of our effectiveness, solid professional credentialing and standards, international awareness, and a recognition that we can play a key role in improving health and wellbeing all around the world. Be a part of helping us take it forward!

Michael & Deborah Arloski

Masterful Health & Wellness Coaching: Deepening Your Craft A New Book by Dr. Michael Arloski, coming in 2020

 

The profession of health and wellness coaching is fully engaged in a process of transformation. As we grow to be of service to wellness programs, lifestyle medicine practices, employee assistance programs, insurance carriers, disease management companies, and all manner of healthcare providers, around the globe, the demand for greater quality coaching only builds. We are moving from a need for competent coaches to a need for proficient and even masterful coaches.

In 2006 Whole Person Associates published my book, Wellness Coaching For Lasting Lifestyle Change, with an updated version in 2009 and a completely revised and expanded Second Edition in 2014. (https://wholeperson.com/store/wellness-coaching-for-lasting-lifestyle-change.shtml) This ground-breaking book is used as the primary text in many wellness coach training programs and college and university courses and has had a powerful impact around the world. It has even been published in Mandarin! In 2009, Whole Person Associates also published Your Journey To A Healthier Life: Paths of Wellness Guided Journal, Vol. I. (https://wholeperson.com/store/your-journey-to-a-healthier-life.shtml) I wrote this book primarily to be used by wellness coaching clients in either individual or group coaching as a personal workbook/journal through the coaching process. Many coaches have found it to be a valuable coaching guide for both their client and themselves. As much as these books covered, the need to provide a deeper dive into the advanced topics of coaching such as collusion, self-disclosure, etc., and to help coaches truly polish their craft became self-evident.

Real Balance Global Wellness has trained thousands and thousands of wellness coaches around the world. As I delivered many of these trainings, read case studies and listened to hundreds of recordings of coaches in action, I learned so much. I learned what coaches need to learn. I discovered where their challenges were, what skills they tended to underutilize, or overutilize. I saw how they shined and how they struggled. I saw what distinguished the effective coaches from the rest. The more masterful coaches were evident in both their way of being with their clients, and with their knowledge of what to do. As I learned from my students I continued to coach, to teach our certification and our advanced classes, and to mentor, continually accumulating more and more grist for the mill that would become my next book.

 

Coach training is not a one and done. The best coaches are voracious lifelong learners. In fact, both the ICF (International Coach Federation) and the NBHWC (National Board for Health & Wellness Coaching) include an obligation to continual education and professional development in their codes of ethics. (https://nbhwc.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/FINAL-Code-of-Ethics-4_15_19-1.pdf)

Just as psychotherapy has been described (https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2006-20286-000), coaching is both an art and a science. The thing that I believe distinguishes a more masterful coach is that they are an artist practicing a craft. Beyond doing a job, they see their wellness coaching career as the career of a craftsperson. They see their work as a combination of evidence-based science, theory and technique, but also as craft.

 

“If one really wishes to be master of an art, technical knowledge of it is not enough. One has to transcend technique so that the art becomes an ‘artless art’ growing out of the Unconscious.”
D.T. Suzuki – Introduction to Zen In The Art Of Archery

 

From Chapter Two of the forthcoming book:

Witnessing the craftsperson in action we see a continuous desire to improve. This is the truly professional waiter/waitress studying the food production and delivery systems, the seating floor plan and the nature of the clientele in the restaurant to calculate their most efficient table delivery routes and provide the best customer service experience. This is the university professor reading about how to teach, not just more about the science of their subject matter. This is the wellness coach spending hours listening to recordings of their own coaching and reviewing where their competencies need improvement. This is about the transformation of competencies into proficiencies and beyond.

Most wellness coach training is aimed at developing competencies. Competency implies an adequate and acceptable level of skill and knowledge. Every client certainly wants his or her coach to be competent. Yet, wouldn’t every client want their coach to be not just competent, but truly proficient or even masterful at his or her craft? How does a coach move up a notch to a level where they are coaching beyond the basics, where they are fluidly implementing what they have learned and can now think on their feet, ‘dance in the moment’, and be creative?

 

Thoughts To Ponder On The Mastery Path

WHO do I want to be as a coach?
How do I create a default mind of curiosity?
How can my values shape my desire for mastery?
How can I be inspirational?

 

Masterful Health & Wellness Coaching: Deepening Your Craft will explore advanced topics such as collusion, self-disclosure, motivation, coaching with difficult clients, building self-efficacy, meaning and purpose, coaching effectively with emotions and much deeper looks at major theories of behavior change and how to implement them in the coaching process.

As my new book approaches completion, we expect that publication will take place in early 2020. By subscribing to the Real Balance Newsletter on our website (https://realbalance.com) you can be kept up to date on its release date.

The Utility of Self Determination Theory and Motivation in Wellness Coaching – Part One: Motivation

“Don’t ask how you can motivate others. Ask how you can create the conditions within which others will motivate themselves.”
Edward L. Deci

The motivation of the coaching client for change is usually seen as the foremost factor in the coaching process, yet many coaches lack adequate knowledge of this concept. Some coaches believe that is it somehow their responsibility to motivate their client. This can come across as an attempt to convince or persuade the client to become engaged in a lifestyle improvement process, urged on by a cheerleading coach. As coaches become more experienced, they usually discover that effective coaching is about helping the client to get in touch with what motivates them from the inside and build on that. One theory that can help coaches grasp the nature of human motivation and then implement it well is Self-Determination Theory.

The life work of psychologists Edward Deci and Richard Ryan (http://selfdeterminationtheory.org) has yielded a theory of human motivation that not only fully supports the coach approach but also adds valuable tools of understanding. In complete alignment with the tenets of humanistic psychology (https://www.amazon.com/Toward-Psychology-Being-Abraham-Maslow/dp/0471293091) , Self-Determination Theory (SDT) views human beings as constantly striving towards actualizing their potential, seeking out ways to foster their growth and development. It is also very much in alignment with the Client-Centered (or Person-Centered) Approach of Carl Rogers (https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Person-Therapists-View-Psychotherapy/dp/039575531X/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=3WAH0XRWWQF0SM32MPZJ). Finally, it is easy to see how the way coaches trained in the ICF Core Competencies and the coaching foundations that are laid out in sources such as Co-Active Coaching (https://www.amazon.com/Co-Active-Coaching-Fourth-transformative-conversations/dp/1473674980/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1549473972&sr=1-1&keywords=co-active+coaching) work with clients are entirely congruent with SDT.

A core contribution of SDT is the way it demonstrates how it is the type of motivation, not the quantity of motivation that is key to success with behavioral change. According to Self-Determination Theory there are two types of motivation, controlled motivation and autonomous motivation. SDT presents a ‘motivational spectrum’ with amotivation, or total indifference at one end and intrinsic motivation, doing something for its own intrinsic satisfaction at the opposite end. In between these two extremes lies extrinsic motivation with its own motivational spectrum from the most externalized (controlled) to the most internalized (becoming autonomous) types of motivation.

MOTIVATIONAL SPECTRUM
A client is viewed as potentially having different types of motivation related to different behaviors, similar to what we have seen in the Transtheoretical Model of Change, (http://jprochaska.com/books/changing-to-thrive-book/) Your client may be in the “Action Stage” when it comes to improving their nutrition, but in the “Contemplation Stage” regarding beginning an exercise program. Likewise, in the SDT model, your client may feel Controlled Motivation from and Extrinsic source (e.g. pressure from physician and spouse) to begin exercising, and yet possess Autonomous Intrinsic Motivation to improve their nutrition because of a life-long fascination with and enjoyment of healthy eating.

Coaches certainly encounter clients who are indifferent to making changes in some areas of their lives. This would be referred to as Amotivation, or simply lacking motivation. SDT looks at the process of motivation as part of the behavior change process, rather than a pre-requisite for coaching. The client does not have to be “ready” for coaching, rather, it is within the coach’s function to help the client get in touch with the motivation they need for change and resolve ambivalence Again, it our job to meet our client where they are at.

Controlled Motivation

All too frequently the wellness coach encounters clients who are feeling the pressure of Controlled Motivation. This is the “carrot and stick” approach to motivation. It means doing something in order to get a reward or to avoid punishment. It is characterized by feeling seduced (towards a reward) or coerced (to avoid negative consequence). Either way there is a perception of being pressured, obligated or even forced. A perfect example is the coaching client coming to fulfill a requirement for a wellness program incentive plan. The client feels forced into coaching to receive the reward of a 10-20% discount on their health insurance premium (and to avoid the implied penalty of missing this discount). Deci has emphasized that this approach has negative consequences for both performance and well-being. Deci and Ryan also noticed that individuals coming from controlled motivation tend to take the shortest path to the end result. They often complete the wellness program requirement and immediately quit the program.

Autonomous Motivation

Autonomous motivation has two aspects. The first is interest and enjoyment. If these two are present, so is motivation because I don’t have to be convinced to do what I love doing. The second type has to do with deeply held values and beliefs. Behaviors that are in sync with values and beliefs are coherent with one’s sense of self. According to Deci, the research demonstrates that when behavior comes from autonomous motivation people are more creative and better at problem solving. When confronted with challenges or obstacles they are more able to think ‘outside the box’. Overall, performance is better especially around hands-on learning and people feel better about themselves. All in all, “autonomous motivation is associated with both physical and psychological health.”

Autonomous behavior is about choice. Deci, in an effective video interview (https://youtu.be/m6fm1gt5YAM) , points out that it is not the same as independence. A person can be experiencing autonomous motivation (operating out of their own volition) when they choose to seek out a walking group to participate in. Autonomous motivation can drive both individualistic and collectivistic behaviors.

SDT also acknowledges that there is often a process experienced by people whereby their motivation may progress from Controlled External Motivation to eventually become a choice that they fully embrace — Autonomous Intrinsic Motivation. What may begin as

 

Spatial representation of different forms of extrinsic regulation. From Spence & Oades PDF (2011)

a requirement of a program (see a wellness coach to get an incentive) — External Controlled Motivation — may move to compliance with a program (continue to see the coach out of an ‘introjected’ sense that they ‘should’ do so). However, if the coach is effective at creating a true coaching alliance with their client and helps them to see the benefits that they may have to gain by continuing coaching, the motivation shifts through a sense of “identification”, to that of Autonomous Motivation — the client is truly choosing to be involved in coaching. Finally, as the client experiences the benefits of coaching and enjoys the coaching, they have fully ‘integrated’ the process and are experiencing Autonomous Intrinsic Motivation to engage genuinely in coaching.

In effective coaching we always refer to co-creating with our client ‘self-determined goals’. The message to the client is that they are the ones in the driver’s seat, choosing their own Wellness Plan with our assistance. As we coach our clients through the journey of change we can draw upon SDT to remind us to stay client-centered, to continuously move towards building client autonomy and towards motivation that is more intrinsic in nature. It’s just good coaching!

In Part Two on the topic of Self-Determination Theory, we’ll look at how we can incorporate the Three Innate Psychological Needs of SDT — the needs for autonomy, competence and relatedness into more masterful coaching.

 

For the very best in wellness and health coach training look to REAL BALANCE GLOBAL WELLNESS SERVICES, INC.  Over 8,000 wellness & health coaches trained worldwide.  http://www.realbalance.com 

 

For more about effective coaching refer to Wellness Coaching For Lasting Lifestyle Change, 2nd Ed., by Michael Arloski, Ph.D., PCC, CWP, NBC-HWC.   https://wholeperson.com/store/wellness-coaching-for-lasting-lifestyle-change.shtml

and to Your Journey to a Healthier Life (Paths of Wellness Guided Journals) by the same author.  https://wholeperson.com/store/your-journey-to-a-healthier-life.shtml 

Structure Is The Wellness Coach’s Friend: Seven Ways To Coach Better

Great coaching finds a balance between structure and spontaneity, customization, “dancing in the moment” and organization. While some large coaching organizations err on the side of too much structure, using scripts and ridged protocols, some coaches “wing it” way too much. Listening to hundreds of coaching recordings, done with real clients, I’m continually amazed at how loosely many coaches go about their work. Observing the variance in structure, or lack thereof, led me to create some suggestions for how you can discover the benefits of coaching structure for your coaching sessions.

 

 

1. Every Session Is A Small Part Of A Whole

Think of each coaching session as part of the larger coaching process and relationship. Keep the individual session in the context of the entire work you are doing with that client.

First sessions, or what we often call Foundation Sessions, or Discovery Sessions, are unique in that they are all about Co-Creating the Coaching Alliance. In this first session there is a lot to do in addition to listening to the client’s story. Typically, two to three times longer than a regular subsequent session, these sessions allow for getting acquainted, creating agreements about the coaching, familiarization with the client’s story, their concerns, etc. The number one error in Foundation Sessions is to get caught up in the story and take a problem-solving approach right out of the gate. Clients benefit much more from you two building the coaching alliance, taking stock of their wellness, and getting clear about how coaching works.

Regular coaching sessions also need to be thought of by the coach in terms of the larger coaching process. Is this one of the early sessions, or are we starting to work towards termination? Coaching does not go on forever and many coaching contracts involve a limited number of sessions. Also, how does this session fit in to the overall Wellness Plan that you and your client have formulated? How does the “issue” that they just brought up today have relevance to their Wellness Plan?

2. Co-Create The Agenda At The Beginning Of Every Session

Certainly, one of the most common errors coaches make is to start a session with a vague invitation like “So! What do you want to talk about today?” Most often client’s immediately think of some sort of barrier they would like to deal with and coach and client instantly begin a problem-solving discussion. I’ve actually heard coaches begin a session with the even more vague request, “What’s up?”. If a specific problem doesn’t jump to the client’s mind, the client might flounder for a while until lighting upon a topic to discuss.

This approach conveys to the client that the coach is a consultant with whom to solve problems instead of an ally in a process of growth and development. This is where some co-creating the agenda first sends a very different message as well as setting up the session for success.

What works best is a discussion of what all will be talked about in the session and what the client wants to get out of the meeting together. ICF (International Coach Federation) examiners are looking for this kind of review and agreement at the beginning of every coaching session. Just like in a team business meeting, co-creating the agenda means taking in all of the topics to be discussed and then setting an agenda based upon strategy and priorities. It’s best to go with a reasonable blend of urgent and important, remembering that not everything is, in fact, urgent and important.

3. Make Checking-In About Wins And Go Beyond Just Hearing Reports

Begin with Wins! “Tell me about some progress you made in improving your lifestyle since we last talked?” Coaching is an inherently Positive Psychology approach designed to build upon strengths. Make good use of that. Acknowledge those wins. Don’t just say “Okay.” Inquire more about them, request clarification.

Transition from Wins into checking-in on the accountability agreements that were made last time on action steps. As you do, urge your client to go beyond just reporting what they did. Begin to help them explore those actions to gain greater understanding of what worked and can be reinforced, what didn’t and what got in the way. Look at how you can facilitate your client’s exploration of their actions and themselves. Head into new territory and watch your client grow!

 

4. Once You’ve Got A Wellness Plan Navigate By It

The map you navigate by, once you co-create it with your client, is the Wellness Plan. Now, whatever comes up in coaching is always put in the context of its relevance to the Wellness Plan. The plan is flexible, changeable, but if you want to get results, you continue to follow it. This is where time is saved by steering back away from tangents and irrelevant topics. This is where “What do you want to talk about?” becomes obsolete. Ask yourself, and perhaps your client “Are we still on the map?”

5. Process – But Don’t Get Lost In It

The bulk of most coaching sessions is about processing the client’s efforts at implementing the Wellness Plan. You and your client can have a lot of fun strategizing through barriers, coming up with creative approaches to making progress on goals, and more. The mistake most coaches make it to use 90% of the session doing just this and not leaving enough time for Next Steps. It’s so easy to “get into the weeds” where “the devil is in the details” and get lost. Stay focused and get back to the backbone of the process – the Wellness Plan. Problems become about relevance to the plan. Problems from the past become about relevance (how are they affecting implementing the Wellness Plan in the here and now), not about resolution (that’s the job of therapy).

6. Leave Time For Next Steps

Effective coaches are watching the clock and know to leave about one-third of the session for Next Steps. Processing until there are only five minutes left is a sure way to set your client up to struggle instead of leaving with a clear plan of how to move forward and make progress. Look at what’s working and what needs to be adjusted. Create agreements about the action steps the client is committing to for the time between now and the next session. It often comes down to Reset, Recommit, or Shift. Will they benefit from resetting the level of the action step – going from walking 5x/week to 3x/week? Or, is the best strategy to re-commit to the same action step at the same level for this week? Or, is it best to strategize a shift to a whole new action step? That will require adequate time to do well.

I would believe only in a God that knows how to dance. – Friedrich Nietzsche

7. Pick The Music But Stay Light On Your Feet

Coaching structure provides the framework for progress. It is like the music that the coaching couple picks to dance to. Coaches perpetually use the expression “dancing in the moment” for good reason. Don’t be afraid to let go of the structure of a session in order to deal with what is more important. Your client may need your support in dealing with a very emotional issue. There may be something that needs to be confronted about the way the two of you are coaching together that may be critical to progress, or even the continuation of coaching. If the coaching seems stuck and progress is lacking, have the courage to explore with your client how the two of you can work better together. Shift the dance of coaching to deal with what has emerged, but then, get back to the music and the structure that will facilitate the progress your both want to make.

 

 

 

For more about effective coaching refer to Wellness Coaching For Lasting Lifestyle Change, 2nd Ed., by Michael Arloski, Ph.D., PCC, CWP, NBC-HWC.  https://wholeperson.com/store/wellness-coaching-for-lasting-lifestyle-change.shtml and to Your Journey to a Healthier Life (Paths of Wellness Guided Journals) by the same author.  https://wholeperson.com/store/your-journey-to-a-healthier-life.shtml 

 

Motivation Plus Mobilization: Coaching For Success At Lifestyle Improvement

Just can’t seem to get moving?

“I just don’t seem to have the motivation to really make changes.” This is a lament frequent to the ears of health and wellness coaches. Our clients are often puzzled by a lack of success in their efforts to start living a healthy lifestyle, or keep such efforts going. They blame it on either a lack of motivation to get started, or that their motivation fades as old habits reassert their rule.

Coaches help their clients examine and re-examine whatever sources of motivation they have mentioned. They help their clients revisit their desire to change and what drives it. They look at fear-based motivations such as not wanting to have an illness get worse, or not wanting to develop the maladies that have been prevalent in their family. They look at the love-based motivators like caring enough about ones self, wanting to be there for their grandchildren as they grow up, the intrinsic joy of dancing, swimming, tasting delicious and nutritious food, etc.

Perhaps the coach concludes, like their client, that these motivators just ‘aren’t enough’. The next step is to begin a usually fruitless search for additional motivators. Their client runs out of ideas and coaching descends into ‘what about this?’ suggestion after suggestion. What is really going on? What’s a more productive avenue to explore?

Got the gas, but no car?

Your client may have enough motivation. They may in fact, have listed three, four or more reasons they want to change. They may possess a terrific combination of motivators. Motivation is like the fuel for a vehicle to run on. The problem might not be the fuel, but the lack of an actual vehicle! The vehicle is a methodology, a structure, and a process that facilitates change. To get where they need and want to go, the client needs both a vehicle to carry them and the fuel to put in it.

How do we mobilize motivation? By providing our client with methodology. I’ve always been amazed at how simple successful change can sometimes be when clients have a well-developed way of achieving it.

Coaches often hear their client’s frustration at wanting to improve their lifestyle, but not having much of a history of success at it. If we inquire if they have ever started their change efforts by first taking stock of their health and wellness in a really clear way, we find they rarely have. If we ask if they have ever begun by first developing a thorough plan as to how they will make their changes happen, we often find them admitting that they usually just get their will powered amped up and set some sort of goals. Rarely have they ever carried out their change efforts with the help of an ally who helped them with support and accountability. And, all too seldom have they ever keep track of their efforts at change and actually written it down.

A mentee of mine was recently coaching a middle-aged woman who complained of a lack of motivation holding her back. As we began listening to the recording, the coach helped the client describe at least four strong motivators that had propelled her into action. She realized that when her children were younger playing with them had provided her with more activity and energy. Now her energy was low and she wanted to reclaim that. She also talked about hoping for grandchildren and wanting to be a very active part of their lives. The client was concerned about her advancing age and not wanting to lose the health she had. She didn’t want to become a burden to anyone. She went on to list at least two more motivators.

As the client described her lack of success at change, her conclusion was that she was just lacking motivation. She described coming home from work tired and just fixing a quick (though not necessarily healthy) meal and watching television in the evening. “I just don’t have the motivation I need” the client lamented. She intended to be more active and intended to eat better. All she had for a plan were intentions.

Doing a great job of coaching, my mentee gently confronted his client and recited the substantial list of motivators that she did, in fact, have. He questioned whether it was a ‘lack of motivation’, or something else that was missing.

Clients try to figure out what is keeping them stuck. Unless it’s a matter of identifiable internal or external barriers, clients often say it’s a lack of motivation. They are looking for an explanation and, frankly, they often don’t know what else to call it.

Co-Creating The Coaching Alliance

An often ignored part of coaching is the work it takes to Co-Create The Coaching Alliance. In addition to getting acquainted with our client and hearing their story, an important part of our first session with a client is to convey to the client just how coaching works. Clients are used to meeting with consultants, not coaches. They expect to be able to provide the consultant with lots of great information and hear the expert recommendations. We spoke about this from the coach’s point of view in our last blog post: “Making and Maintaining The Shift To The Coaching Mindset” https://wp.me/pUi2y-m3. The client also needs to make a mindset shift to get oriented to this new way of working with someone.

Coaching is about co-creating agreements. We co-create with our client agreements about how we are going to work together. Some aspects of our working together are negotiable and can involve compromise. However, we are not going to compromise the nature of our coaching relationship. That is, we are not going to agree to just be our client’s educator, and let go of the role of coach.

Part of what an effective coach does is to explain, in a succinct fashion, exactly how coaching works, how it is structured and what the benefits of this structure are. The client-centered nature of coaching is conveyed with real reassurance that the client remains the one in the driver’s seat.

Part of the coach’s job is to facilitate the client’s use of the coaching structure. The coach does this by showing the client how advantageous it can be to operate with a solid plan, to track one’s progress at making changes, etc. The coach provides tools that make these processes easier. Mobile apps for tracking can be recommended and then, importantly, integrated into the coaching accountability.

Mobilizing Motivation

Motivation can be puzzling and elusive, but when it is present a methodology, a structure, is what the client needs in order to mobilize it. By providing our client with the vehicle, we help them get where they want to go.

Word Origin – Coach: In the 15th Century the Hungarian village of KOCS was the birthplace of the true carriage or “coach” as the word evolved in English.

In other words we might define both types of coaches as:
A coach takes you from where you are at, to where you want to be!

Making and Maintaining The Shift To The Coaching Mindset

The Coaching Mindset Means Leaving The Consulting Mindset Behind

We meet our coaching client with the very best of intentions. We want to help. And help sometimes means throwing ourselves into doing what the client seems to be unable to do themselves up to this point – figure out solutions. Instead of empowering our clients to come to their own solutions, we seek to fix it for them. We draw upon our knowledge, our wisdom, our intelligence, and put effort into guiding the conversation to this goal of helping the client to live better and be healthier. We take on more than our share of responsibility for outcome. Perhaps we even let our own needs for control influence what is going on.

Your client is speaking about a very challenging situation in their complex life. You are fully engaged – in trying to figure it out. You sincerely want to help. You are curious, in a detective sort of way. Your internal chatter is racing: ‘What’s going on here?’ ‘How can the client handle this better?’ ‘What should the client do?’ ‘The client is not dealing with this effectively.’ ‘The client is engaging in self-defeating behavior or irrational thinking.’

So, you ask questions. Really good questions. You delve deeper into the problems. You seek solutions. You analyze. But, you’re not coaching. The more you think the less you feel. The more you analyze and use deduction, the more you step away from your client and all that they feel and all that they are. You, the coach, forget to empathize. You may even forget to use your Active Listening Skills, like paraphrasing and reflection of feeling. You forget to neutrally help your client explore and to do the work themselves. You have become your client’s consultant, taking on the work that belongs to your client.

As James Prochaska loves to say about change; making the “Mindset Shift” to the Coaching Mindset is a process, not an event. The shift did not happen that day when you completed a Wellness Coach Certification Course, and then become locked in place. We all keep going back to our default setting, be it treatment provider, educator, or consultant. What reinforces the old mindset is that many of our clients expect us to be the consultant, the trusted expert. They are used to working with consultants of every stripe and they often come to coaching with feeling of low self-efficacy and seek the guidance of experts who can point the way for them.

In Our Heads

The more we are in our own heads, the more we miss about what is going on for our client. Our analyzing and wondering about where to go next removes us from what is happening right here and right now. Perhaps our client is talking about what they had for breakfast, and the greater context is that they are having breakfast alone for the first time after their children have gone to live with their former spouse. We are missing the undercurrent in their voice of loneliness. We miss inquiring about their emotions, and, instead focus on the cholesterol content of what was on their plate. We miss reflecting our client’s feelings because we don’t notice what they were feeling. We miss an opportunity to express empathic understanding.

Trust The Coaching Process

To quit our consulting job and truly coach we must trust the coaching process. It is a leap of faith to let go of our urge to help and instead to assist. We have to trust not only the coaching process – that it is valid and potentially effective – but also trust our client. As The Coaches Training Institute http://www.coactive.com teaches, when we feel it “in our bones” that the client truly is “naturally creative, resourceful and whole” we can finally coach. When we apply this “Cornerstone of Coaching” we don’t rescue our client by finishing their sentence. We don’t provide for them what they may actually be capable of creating themselves.

Most importantly we don’t interfere in our client’s lives. Think about it! What right do we have to interfere in anyone’s life (and I’m referring to way of living, not intervening in an emergency, etc.)? Do our coaching “interventions” actually constitute an act of interference in how someone is choosing to live their life? Coaching is NOT an intervention!

Back To Center – Back To The Present

So, how do we stay in the moment with our client, yet provide the structure that is an absolutely essential part of effective coaching? It comes down to the proverbial “dancing in the moment” that coaches are so fond of referring to, but it also acknowledges that we have made an agreement with our client about the music.

An effective coach operates within an evidence-based, theoretically grounded coaching structure. We provide a methodology that allows facilitation of the client’s success at improving their lifestyle and therefore, their life. As we follow that “music” (our agreed upon coaching structure) we put our attention into the process of awareness. We listen with ears, eyes and heart. We pick up on the nuance of speech that reveals what may be going on beyond the surface. We explore without preconceived notions of what the client’s experience is. We may just simply say to the client we observe with the tight voice and the furrowed brow: “Are you aware of your forehead right now as you say that?” Let them do the work. Coach!

The Tao of Wellness Coaching: Part Two – Practical Applications

Photo by Michael Arloski

When the best leader’s work is done the people say ‘We did it ourselves.’                                Lao Tzu

In Part One –  In the previous post “The Tao of Wellness Coaching – Part One – What Centers Us?”   http://wp.me/pUi2y-lN   we grounded ourselves in the history and context of The Tao and the concept of Centered Coaching. We examined how relevant the practice of Tai Chi can be.

Essential Concepts

Effective wellness coaching is, inherently, very much in harmony with the Tao. Let’s look at two key Taoist concepts and how they apply to wellness coaching.

Yin-Yang Balance

Fundamental to Taoist thought and foundational to Chinese Medicine is the concept of Yin and Yang. These are the polar opposite, yet complementary, forces of the world that, for health and wellbeing to exist, must be in balance. The Yang forces are active, positive, hot, overt, masculine, light, and hard. The Yin is passive, yielding, negative, cool, quiet, feminine, dark, and soft. In the classic symbol the Yang rises to the top and is represented by the light area with the black dot in it, while the Yin sinks to the bottom and is represented by the black area with the white dot in it.

The key is to understand that the two are opposite, yet interdependent, complementary and interconnected. When we experience having too much of one and not enough of the other, we experience dysfunction whether it is at the physical, psycho-emotional or behavioral and practical level. Regaining balance becomes the return to a level of healthy homeostasis.

As coaches work with clients to achieve a wellness lifestyle the goal of achieving a healthy balance is paramount. We must rest, but not become lethargic. We must move and exercise, but not to the point of exhaustion and fatigue. We must find a way to take in sufficient calories, but find the right level for our optimal health, etc.

As coach and client co-create a wellness plan the concepts of Yin and Yang can be very useful. Our culture tends to reinforce and promote the Yang forces while not supporting those of the Yin. We are urged to be productive, work hard, play hard, achieve, accomplish, try harder and push. Seldom are we reinforced, much less accommodated for self-care activities such as getting adequate sleep, relaxing, taking time to get a massage, meditate, or enjoy our leisure. In fact, we may face criticism for such ‘indulgence’.

Many components of a wellness plan involve greater frequency of self-care activities. As clients look at their health and wellbeing through a more holistic lens, they often see the value of taking more time to meet these needs to balance their lives. Often these same clients have been admonished by their healthcare providers to engage in more self-care activities in order to improve their health. Many times wellness coaches work with clients who have been foregoing their medical self-care, such as taking time to do self-testing (e.g. diabetes), following up on medical appointments, doing rehabilitation exercises, etc. Instead they have been consumed and distracted by the Yang-style demands of their work, and their own belief systems.

When wellness coaches work with their clients to construct ways to manage stress more effectively, they are inevitably working to achieve Yin-Yang balance. Without ever speaking of the terms (Yin and Yang), we might consider how all actions possess either Yin or Yang energy and help our clients to decide how much to include in their lives. There may be great stress management wisdom in exploring strategically with our clients when it is best to push, and when to yield.

At a fundamental level our clients are often in a state of ambivalence about change that displays the push-pull of Yin and Yang forces. Should I, the client, change my way of living, or not change? When we really examine the ambivalence resolution methods of Motivational Interviewing (MI) we can see a Taoistic stance taken by the therapist or coach. The coach does not “pull” for one path to be taken over the other. Instead, they neutrally allow the client to explore and experience both energies; change and no change. The coach using this MI approach remains as centered and non-judgmental as possible helping the client to weigh the pros and cons (again a Yin/Yang process).

Wu Wei – Effortless Effort

Living in harmony with the Tao is about letting nature take its course and not interfering with the natural order of things. The concept of Wu Wei conveys the idea on ‘non-doing’, ‘non-action’, or ‘non-intervention’. This concept seems antithetical to Western thinking. In Western culture we are taught to make things happen. In Western Medicine the expert seeks to find the best intervention and implement it as soon as possible. To accomplish a desired outcome by ‘allowing’ things to simply be and progress on their own seems either too slow or doomed to failure. Yet think for a moment. Have you ever needed to relax and unwind and the harder you tried to do so, the more anxious and tense you got? There is only one way to relax; you have to allow yourself to do so. When we intervene medically to treat a wound, the actual healing that follows is something we have to patiently allow to happen.

Wu Wei is perhaps best thought of as living in a state of effortless harmony and alignment with the natural cycles and ways of nature. We are truly ‘going with the flow’, and able to respond to whatever comes our way. As coaches allow such a way of being our ability to ‘dance in the moment’ is maximized. We aren’t there to intervene, to fix things. We are not attached to a therapeutic agenda, to a treatment-oriented course of action. The client is in the lead and we are able to effortlessly dance with them.

Keeping It Client-Centered

At the heart of all coaching is the client-centered approach. From the psychotherapeutic roots of Carl Rogers this ‘person-centered’ way of interacting has become the basis for the coaching alliance.

“There have been parallels made regarding Carl Rogers’ person-centered theory and the way of doing nothing in Taoism (1). Rogers suggested that the most therapeutic counseling occurred when the therapist was authentic and real in the relationship and placed trust in the client to discern what was best for himself without interference from the therapist (2). A central concept of Taoism is doing nothing and being natural. Both Rogers’ theoretical beliefs and Tao philosophy maintain that when these conditions are achieved successfully in therapy, the human organism will develop almost spontaneously (3).”

An excellent review of this is found in “East Meets West: Integration of Taoism Into Western Therapy” by Rochelle C. Moss and Kristi L. Perryman. (4)

Coaches following these principles ‘get themselves out of the way’ and trust in the wisdom of their clients. We see our work as helping to bring forth, or evoke, the inner wisdom of our clients. When we are not attached to rigid protocols, yet operating out of grounded principles and methodology we can serve as guides to help our clients get to where they want to go.

Coaches and clients walk down a pathway together at night in the forest. The coach’s job is hold the flashlight and illuminate what is before them.

The client’s job is to choose how the path will be followed.

Neutrality allows the coach to operate without bias, without their own judgments and prejudices. This allows the client to be in the lead, making their own choices. This is where wellness coaches must adhere to the ethics of coaching and not be promoting their own products or particular courses favorite ways to eat, exercise, and so forth.

The highest virtue is to act without a sense of self
The highest kindness is to give without a condition
The highest justice is to see without a preference
Lao Tzu

Coaches who find value in the concept of Wu Wei see the value in yielding. In Western society yielding is often seen as failure, as giving up. Yet, some of the most storied successes on both Eastern and Western battlefields came because of strategic retreat. In wellness coaching this may take the form of allowing a client to set their own levels of accountability. For example a client may state that they can perform a certain behavior, such as walking, five times in the coming week. The coach may suggest that going from not exercising at all to doing so five times a week may be less likely to be successful. The client insists that they can hit this target of 5x/wk. The patient coach then allows the client to go ahead with their experiment rather than argue and let the client experience what the Adlerian psychologists would call natural consequences.

The power of yielding may also be something for our clients to discover. Often people approach situations with only one option in mind; to win! The wise person approaches any situation wanting to have all options at their disposal. In dealing with conflict, in managing stress, the option of yielding often pays off better than pushing for one’s initial desires.

At the heart of both the coaching process and Maslow’s theories of self-actualization and personal growth is the principle stance that human beings are inherently moving towards health and wholeness. With barriers removed and balance achieved, people will naturally make progress towards their highest good. The continually accumulating evidence from the Positive Psychology research substantiates this position. Such a way of looking at human beings and their experience in life is in complete alignment with Taoistitc principles of the interconnectedness of all things, synchronicity and the let it be attitude of Wu Wei.

The Centered Wellness Coach

Drawing upon what may be called “Philosophical Taoism” as opposed to any kind of religious or institutional Taoism, the wellness coach can find wisdom that does not necessarily contradict any other beliefs they, or their client may have. What we find is real alignment with the principles of growth and self-actualization that form the foundation of the wellness field. What we also find are very practical guidelines for practicing as an effective coach.

1. Practice What Centers You In Your Life
The wellness of the coach is the foundation all else is built upon. When we embrace whole-person wellness that includes, body, mind, spirit and our relationship with our environment, we practice a lifestyle that moves us towards optimal functioning. The key here is the word “practice”. Coaches are usually very caring people who place the needs of others far above their own. That can easily result in a lack of self-care, a neglect of the very well-living practices that we encourage in our clients. Find what “centers” you and practice it with regularity. Connect with friends, read novels, garden, hike, bike, walk, dance, meditate, do Yoga, Tai Chi, go fishing, enjoy your grandchildren, play with your photography or poetry, pray, volunteer at a non-profit, scrapbook, quilt, take your neighbor’s child for a day in the park. Do whatever gets your healthy needs met and gives you meaning and purpose.

When you get knocked off-center, accept how this is simply part of the normal human experience. The centered person does not tip-toe through life like they were on a balance beam. The idea is that of reducing our  “center-recovery time”. If we are practicing what centers us in our lives we can come back to center more quickly.

2. Practice effortless effort.
The primary mistake I notice when I observe coaching students who are learning the craft, is that they work too hard. The coach is working much harder than the client. When coaching does not go well it is usually when the coach is trying to make things happen. The coach is busy “fixing” the situation and/or the client, instead of facilitating the client doing their own work. The coach is busy attempting to convince or persuade the person to be well. The centered coach is patient.

3. Embrace Paradox
By trusting their coaching methodology, and by trusting their client the coach is able to offer a “coaching presence” that is: calm, yet lively; supportive, yet challenging; accepting and nonjudgmental, yet discerning; empathic, yet not colluding; compassionate, yet firm. Again, it is from this centered “stance” that such paradox can exist.

4. Know When To Push And When To Yield
We have a culture obsessed with “interventions”, with taking action. The Tao teaches us that there is a time for both action and non-action. I’ve observed coaches attempting to appear “powerful” by pushing for action whether the client is “ready” or not. When we use Prochaska’s Readiness For Change Theory we are actually acknowledging the reality of the energetic state our client is in. An old Gestalt Therapy expression is “Don’t push the river”. But, we also know the need to paddle when we are in a dead-calm lake! There is a time in coaching to forward the action through request. The Tao is as much about taking action as it is about pivoting and moving with no resistance. Again, the coaching metaphor of “dancing in the moment” means know when to push and when to yield.

5. An Effective Wellness Plan Is About Balance

A well-crafted wellness plan, co-created with our client would resemble the Yin/Yang symbol of Taoism. Ideally there would be as much involvement in active steps to build energy and there would be for more passive steps to help one relax, restore energy and achieve more balance. One side would balance out the other.

The reality is that as coaches we have been practicing The Tao of Wellness Coaching all along whether we called it that or not. Taoistic principles have already been infused in psychology, psychotherapy, business, leadership and more. Being more conscious in their application expands the coach’s repertoire of options and helps them nurture their own wellness as well.

References

1. Hermsen, E. (1996). Person-centered psychology and Taoism: The reception of Lao Tzu by Carl C. Rogers. The International Journal for the Psychology of Religion, 6(2), 107 – 125.

2. Hayashi, S., Kuno, T., M
orotomi, Y., Osawa, M., Shimizu, M., & Suetake, Y. (1998). Client- centered therapy in Japan: Fujio Tomoda and Taoism. The Journal of Humanistic Psychology, 38(2), 103-124.

3. Hayashi, S., Kuno, T., Morotomi, Y., Osawa, M., Shimizu, M., & Suetake, Y. (1994). A reevaluation of client-centered therapy through the work of F. Tomoda and its cultural implications in Japan. Paper presented at the Third International Conference on Client-Centered and Experimental Psychotherapy, Gmunden, Austria.

4. Rochelle C. Moss and Kristi L. Perryman
“East Meets West: Integration of Taoism Into Western Therapy”
https://www.counseling.org/resources/library/vistas/vistas12/Article_33.pdf taken from web 1.13.17)